Help Us to Help Them

I'VE NO TASTE FOR RECKLESS ABANDON.

I RATHER LIKE WORK-AND-NO-PLAY.

FOR PARTIES, I SEND IN A STAND-IN,

I'M SOBER, RESPONSIBLE, GRAY.

BUT NOW THERE'S THIS SAD SITUATION:

TWO SOULS LOST IN THE VAST MIDWEST.

SOMETHING THAT NEEDS MITIGATION

AND THAT'S WHAT I DO MY BEST.

SO WON'T YOU HELP US,

HELP US TO HELP THEM?

HELP THEM TO FIND THEIR WAY

HOMEWARD BOUND.

IF YOU'LL JUST HELP US,

HELP US TO HELP THEM,

SOON THEY'LL BE CRADLED IN OUR ARMS,

SAFE AND SOUND.

WHO ELSE BUT THIS HUGE CORPORATION

WITH MONEY AND POW'R 'NEATH ITS WINGS,

KNOWN AS "THE PARENT ORGANIZATION",

COULD REALLY TAKE CARE OF THOSE LITTLE THINGS?

SO WON'T YOU HELP US,

HELP US TO HELP THEM?

HELP THEM TO FIND THEIR WAY

HOMEWARD BOUND.

IF YOU'LL JUST HELP US,

HELP US TO HELP THEM,

SOON THEY'LL BE CRADLED IN OUR ARMS, SAFE AND SOUND.

CRADLED IN OUR ARMS, SAFE AND SOUND.