The Ghoul of My Dreams

At first it seemed like a malady

But then, in a very short while,

I acquired a strange partiality

For things that were monstrous and vile.

Slimy things held a special thrill

Toads and snakes got my spirits flashin’

I’m not the kind of girl to go “Eek!”

Loved King Kong, loved Godzilla

And Frankenstein was my screw-neck passion.

They spoiled me for

The boy next door

Y’see, I was waiting for a freak(… so to speak.)

The Ghoul Of My Dreams

When he comes I won’t know if he’s living or dead.

He’ll be some apparition

Not some bald optician

I’d meet at Club Med.

My monster, my love

He’s so happy to see me he’s splitting his seams(…in his                                  neck).

Someday my ghoul will come – the Ghoul Of My Dreams.

Well, I thought no man could ever live up to my hideous fantasy… then I met Bruno.

It was a bleak, rainy Saturday

In a Hungarian restaurant.

A dreary, mud-spattered day,

Just the kind of day I’d want.

He looks churlish, I feel foolish.

He lurches in and stomps and sloshes.

I spilled my dinner on his black leather suit.

I was girlish, he was ghoulish.

He shook the goulash off his galoshes

There facing me:

My fantasy

Revolting, vile, grotesque  and cute(… what a brute. Ah, my Bruno!)

The Ghoul Of My Dreams

Ugly, snugly,  my demon all gleamin’ with gore.

I dream when I’m snookin’

That raw sex is oozin’

From his every pore … literally!

My monster, my love.

How his appetite grows when the full moon beams.

Finally my ghoul has come.

The Ghoul Of My Dreams

Where he came from a poor girl can only guess

He looks like an alien.

He says he’s Australian.

And I could care less.

My monster, my love.

When he sings it’s like Dracula meets the Supremes.

Stop! I want to drink your blood.

The Ghoul Of My Dreams.