The Juggler

Well, I bet I can get up in the morning, fix four different breakfasts, feed the cats and put the dog outdoors,

Empty the dishwasher, fill it up again, take out the garbage and scrub the floors,

Get Fred to the 7:09, the kids off to the school bus in time, pick up the mail and save the coupons for stuff that's free,

Put the laundry in the washer, take a load out of the dryer and fold it up while exercising in front of the TV.

Cuz I'm a Juggler. J-U-G-G-L-E-R.

That's what I are.

Well, I guess I should watch The Morning Show so I know what's up. Mm, that coffee was good. Wish I had time for another cup. Oh, here comes Joanie from next door. She'll wanna talk about her and Bob.

Maybe I can iron while we talk. No, I gotta go and sweep the walk. Oh, no, this is Monday and I'm already late for my job.

Excuse me, Joan, that's the phone. What? Cindy cut her lip on her clarinet?

I'll be right there. Sorry, Joan. Are you sure Bob's having an affair? Oops, there's the phone again. Oh, hello, Mr. Gorman. Yes, I know I work for you. No, I didn't forget.

Cuz I'm a Juggler. J-U-G-G-L-E-R.

Now into the car.

Well, boy, am I late for work and, yes, I feel like a jerk but maybe I can squeeze in the shopping on the way although I can't cook that 10-pound roast in 5 minutes like I planned cuz the microwave's on the fritz.

Honestly, if Billy hadn't put his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle dolls in there, they wouldn't have melted and there wouldn't be plastic all over the thing and who else but my husband would try to get it off with a blowtorch? Ain't life the pits?

And, speaking of my husband, I'll bet I'll never forget the world's dullest dinner party at his boss's house last year. But I didn't let him down. I'll bet no wife could have been more charming, vivacious and funny.

But then when we got home that night, he was so depressed and he looked at me with that cute smile of his and said, "Baby" and of course I said, "Baby" cuz I know I'm the only one who can cheer him up when he gets like that and, after all, all he wanted to do was play Bump The Bunny.

Yeah, I'm a Juggler. J-U-G-G-L-E-R.

Have a cigar.

Yeah, nine months after Bump The Bunny, Hubby's handing out cigars cuz now we got the twins. But I'll bet I can nurse 'em and feed 'em and burp 'em and bathe 'em and diaper 'em and love 'em before they know what hit 'em.

Cuz I got stamina. I got know-how. I got brains. I got heart. I got guts. And I got rhythm.

And I'll bet sometimes you feel like me when you got your life and your family's too and your friends are calling you up crying on your shoulder and you got chores and bills and errands and your career's going nowhere and sometimes you can't even believe it and you think you'd like to write a rock and roll song about it if only you knew how to play the guitar.

Well, welcome to this plane, Jane, you're not insane. You're just a J-U-G-G-L-E-R.

A J-U-G-G-L-E-R.